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The Book:  How To Walk In High Heels, The Girl’s Guide To Everything
Author:  Camilla Morton

I’m glad I didn’t pay money for this.

I borrowed this book from my local library. I thought the book would divulge the secrets of experienced fashionistas, and if I was really lucky, some behind the scenes fashion show disasters.  Nope.  Unfortunately, I found this bestseller full of information that was either vapid or just plain useless.

On how to select the heel:

President Roosevelt coined the phrase, “You have to spend money to make money.” Invest in a pair of Manolo Blahniks, the only stilettos that offer comfort on 5 inches, and watch the cocktails and dinner invitations come flooding in.

If your escort is shorter than you in your highest heels, dump him immediately.  Pointless.  A pair of Manolos lasts a lifetime, and you shouldn’t compromise style for love.

There is a section on how to try on a pair of heels in no less than 13 steps (probably more, but I’m being conservative)  And here you thought it was three steps:  Step One- pick shoe.  Step Two – slide feet (one at a time) inside shoe.  Step 3 – Get up and walk.   Why it needs to be so more complicated is beyond me.

I couldn’t finish the book. The topics were uninspiring:

How to hold court from your sick bed;
How to stock your first aid kit (Really? Like I couldn’t figure this out from doing an internet search?);
How to be friends with your remote control (The author suggests that your remote control contain channel numbers, volume control, and mute. Who has to be told this?);
How to make popcorn (. . . in 8 steps?  Uh, how about read directions on the popcorn bag.)

I liked some stuff

I love quotes from famous people, and the book had some good ones. My favorite:  Bill Gates who said “Be nice to nerds.  Chances are you’ll end up working for one.”

There were also informative little articles by Manolo Blahnik, Heidi Klum, Stephen Jones, and Christopher Bailey.

To thine own self be true.

This quote wasn’t in the book, but it’s been one of the best pieces of advice on style that I have ever come across.  Thank you, Shakespeare.